Monday, June 26, 2017

I'm Not Weighing Myself Anymore - Day 8 - Shallow


Image result for sad birthday cake image



June 26, 2017

Never invited
you to a party.  You missed
nothing but shallow.


Daily goals report: 
·         Weigh in – did not . . . but . . . self-doubt is creeping in?
·         Meditate – yes.  Well, technically, I was eavesdropping as I meditated.  Does that still count?
·         Walk – Walked about four blocks – took the kiddos to the park and picked them up – walked from Doc’s.
·         Eat –   cheesy shells, broccoli balls, and the evil and colorful chocolate covered sunflower seeds from TJMax

      Other goals report:
·         Bribing Mica to leave her electronic diary at home as she went to camp brought some pretty awesome crescendos from the both of us.
·         Made fashion doll stencil mermaids.  Quite exquisite.
·         I don’t have many regrets in my life, and this is not really a regret, but . . . I wish I would have been more interested in getting to learn about the lives and yearnings of some of my high school classmates.  It seems some of the classmates were so much less interested in popularity and personal importance than me and my clique.
·         Reading, not writing today. 
·         Happy Birthday to Julie Lindsay, another high school classmate with a June birthday.  I only know this because of Facebook, I admit. 

      So, really really, I mean it – Happy Birthday Julie.  And to Doreen a few days ago.  And hello Susan who is in the celebratory pictures as well.  I love seeing pictures of my high school classmates with their high school classmate friends still in their lives.  Seeing some of the people that I did not take the time to get to know better in my teens, reminds me of how shallow and exclusive my teen clique was. 

      When I see pictures on Facebook of classmates who are still friends, I see the deep joy and care shared by long time acquaintances.  Good for you.  I wish I had an active friendship that reached back to my teens.  There are a few people that I was close to back then, friends I can pick up where we left off at the last visit.  But over the years it takes longer and longer to catch each other up, and we don’t get to delving deep into feelings . . . at all. 

      I am not certain that any of the seven of the girls in my high school clique still communicate with each other (other than on Facebook) – maybe the two who are cousins.  One married my brother.  I only recall rather shallow interests and conversations . . . didn’t really dare open up about my life’s big concerns and questions.

      But hell.  All the deep stuff’s been brought to the surface by now.  And I have no idea on what schedule my peers grew up and dealt with their deep stuff.  When I think of high school, I automatically go back to making some of the same assumptions about what challenges, or lack of challenges, other classmates were dealing with.  Did they all even have stuff to deal with? Deep stuff or no, and like my own life, I am quite certain that my high school peer’s lives have expanded far beyond the hallways and social activities of our small rural school. 


      Happy day, every day, to those out there doing the work of maturing and finding your place in the world.  Stay in touch, keep sending pictures.
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