It's All About You

This has been a tough day for me.  And when I say that, I cringe with guilt.  It really has been a tough day for me, but only because it's been a tougher day for you.  I know that my life will go on pretty much as it has for decades, affected mostly by choices I make rather than the random things that are affecting your life so profoundly.  As I think about you, I come back to thinking about me.  What should I do or say?  What will I be called to do? - and just know - I will do it gladly.  And most importantly, how are you managing to be so strong right now?  I'm pissed as hell!!!!!!  Of course not at you.  If I believed in god, I'd be pissed at god.  Instead, I'm pissed at randomness.  I'm pissed that it is not me instead of you who is having to deal with this.  I go back and forth.  Pissed, accepting, pissed, accepting . . . . .  

What I want most is for you to know that this time is all about you.  I don't think you might know that because you are a nine.  Yes, I think you are.  A peacemaker.   Your wings - they tell me this about you.   Your six gives you stress because you worry how to appear loyal and true.  Remember - for right now, you can let go of this stress - for right now, it's all about you.  For a change, ask others how they are going to convince you that THEY are loyal and true.   Then there is your three.  Three is so you.  You achiever, you intellectual, you.  Don't try to hide it, you couldn't if you wanted to.  But even with the very strong three, your six sometimes shows through.  And your nine - well, girl that is just you.   Now, don't go changing just because of this, this, thing that you're dealing with.  Whatever you do, keep working the nine, three, six.  Say it with me.  Nine, three, six.  Nine, three six.  Do not, I repeat do not, let yourself get stuck between four and five.  That could happen if you let yourself fall.  No telling how you'd get yourself free from that self-blaming, over-thinking, withdrawal syndrome.  No, stick with your numbers.  Remember, even when you wish you weren't so damn loyal, so six, that's where get your courage.  And your intellect, well sometimes that truth is only understood by you, but keep casting it out there anyway.  Most of all, stay high on that nine.  You said you were going to go seeking serenity - all you need to know that is that you already have it!  It's in you.  It's all about you.