Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Effing Inflammatory Breast Cancer

A little over a month ago, my daughter-in-law was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer - four days before her 30th birthday.  She is married to my son, she is the mother of my three year old and one year old granddaughters.  Blahhhhh!!!!!!  How did this happen? Whenever I think I'm over being pissed off, mystified and all those other things - it comes back, the question - any question.  Why?  Why didn't the damn surgeon do a biopsy when the symptoms were not going away with antibiotics?  Why did this have to happen to her?  Why does this have to happen to my son?  Why does this have to happen to the girls?  I love being grandma to the family, it was just that I had in mind keeping the girls so their parents could have romantic weekends, little trips to obscure places, and just a chance to relate without the demands of toddlers.  I do keep the girls quite a bit anyway - only now it's so she can take naps, or be sick, or so my son can go and pick up any number of prescriptions that they need, or make dinner or clean house, or just get away for a bit without any demands.  The thing I can not do is give my daughter-in-law a break.  I can not take the cancer away for a few hours, I can not clear her mind of the thoughts that must be playing in a loop, I can not totally relieve the stress that all four of them are feeling, but I can help.

So, nothing witty about this post.  Just advice to all young people.  If you have something weird going on with your breast, try antibiotics.  If it clears up, fine.  If not, DEMAND a biopsy.  Do not be nice about this, do not feel foolish about this.  The most common misdiagnosed group is pregnant and nursing mothers who are not taken seriously about something being amiss.  Do not let your doctor mislead you for over a year like my daughter-in-law was.  Google IBC on the web, then be very vigilant.

Next post - happy and funny - I hope.

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