June 26, 2017
Never invited
you to a party. You missed
nothing but shallow.
Daily goals report:
·
Weigh in – did not . . . but . . . self-doubt is
creeping in?
·
Meditate – yes.
Well, technically, I was eavesdropping as I meditated. Does that still count?
·
Walk – Walked about four blocks – took the
kiddos to the park and picked them up – walked from Doc’s.
·
Eat – cheesy
shells, broccoli balls, and the evil and colorful chocolate covered sunflower
seeds from TJMax
Other goals
report:
·
Bribing Mica to leave her electronic diary at
home as she went to camp brought some pretty awesome crescendos from the both
of us.
·
Made fashion doll stencil mermaids. Quite exquisite.
·
I don’t have many regrets in my life, and this
is not really a regret, but . . . I wish I would have been more interested in
getting to learn about the lives and yearnings of some of my high school
classmates. It seems some of the
classmates were so much less interested in popularity and personal importance
than me and my clique.
·
Reading, not writing today.
·
Happy Birthday to Julie Lindsay, another high
school classmate with a June birthday. I
only know this because of Facebook, I admit.
So, really
really, I mean it – Happy Birthday Julie.
And to Doreen a few days ago. And
hello Susan who is in the celebratory pictures as well. I love seeing pictures of my high school classmates
with their high school classmate friends still in their lives. Seeing some of the people that I did not take
the time to get to know better in my teens, reminds me of how shallow and exclusive
my teen clique was.
When I see pictures
on Facebook of classmates who are still friends, I see the deep joy and care
shared by long time acquaintances. Good
for you. I wish I had an active
friendship that reached back to my teens.
There are a few people that I was close to back then, friends I can pick
up where we left off at the last visit.
But over the years it takes longer and longer to catch each other up,
and we don’t get to delving deep into feelings . . . at all.
I am not
certain that any of the seven of the girls in my high school clique still
communicate with each other (other than on Facebook) – maybe the two who are
cousins. One married my brother. I only recall rather shallow interests and
conversations . . . didn’t really dare open up about my life’s big concerns and
questions.
But hell. All the deep stuff’s been brought to the surface
by now. And I have no idea on what
schedule my peers grew up and dealt with their deep stuff. When I think of high school, I automatically
go back to making some of the same assumptions about what challenges, or lack
of challenges, other classmates were dealing with. Did they all even have stuff to deal with? Deep
stuff or no, and like my own life, I am quite certain that my high school peer’s
lives have expanded far beyond the hallways and social activities of our small
rural school.
Happy day,
every day, to those out there doing the work of maturing and finding your place
in the world. Stay in touch, keep
sending pictures.
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