I'm Not Weighing Myself Anymore - Day 7 - All Is Well

June 25, 2017

A scale is not the

only instrument that will

weigh my heaviness.

  

Daily goals report: 

·         Weigh in – sort of in a “who cares?” mode right now.

·         Meditate – yep.  It was hard to concentrate with the rhythmic breath of two small ones sleeping off a night of take-out, swimming, and bad TV.

·         Walk – PT exercises and a bit of time in the pool.  May try a bonafide walk tomorrow

·         Eat –   not much. Not much to say about what I ate, either.

      Other goals report:

·         Tried to learn Mica’s favorite alley cats song.

·         Early morning knitting, for a change in art form.

·         Heavy Haiku

·         A small turn at a book I’ve been working on. 

·         Happy Birthday to Sonia Sotomayor, Supreme Court Justice.  Long may you serve.

      Today’s Haiku is written as I feel a bit over and under whelmed at the same time.  The details of what was and is happening are of little matter in the big picture.  The details do not matter because, no matter what they are, I have the same response.  I always feel that there is something more I could have/should have/shouldn’t have/whatever have done.  When times are challenging for anyone I am connected to (well, mostly my children, partners, co-workers – anyone I have made a commitment to) I think back to some inane or insane incident that happened when I  was a child/teen/young adult and trace it all the way to the event  of the moment.

      I am my own nemesis in my personal game of horizontal hostility.  Technically, this would be called internal oppression, where a person (or a group of people) accepts the labels and stereotypes put upon them.

      I think of all the labels I’ve been given in my life. The negative ones, which I will spare you and me in this writing, take up much more space inside me than the positive ones. 

      Besides ignoring my scale, I need to also let go of all instruments, devices, and measurements that weigh the parts of me that cannot be quantified in pounds and ounces.  I wonder how old, exactly, I will be before I can say . . . all is well; all will be well.

Julian of Norwich . . .All will be well, and all will be well.  And all manner of things, will be well.